Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Grab a tissue...

So I sat down and wrote a full page on post season depression.  It was really good.  I had some scientific data and real life examples.  I think many of my readers would have found it informative and insightful.  Unfortunately I think it was just a cover and full of crap.  It is not who I am.  I think by now many of you have read my musings and hopefully found them written from the heart and sharing the values that I believe in.

That brings me to the reason why I deleted every word that I spent writing previously.  It think we all get run down in life.  In my line of work I see too many people medicated to the point that they become numb to what is a real feeling.  I will never be like that.  I will never let my family be like that.  No one has ever said that life is easy.  There are ups and downs and you must truly live life to every degree to appreciate the good times as much as the hard times.

I have found in my life that communication and passion are the two things that will keep me going day after day.  Communication is a must.  Clear, concise, and thoughtful words help make any situation an easy one to handle.  Passion must fuel you.  Every day I have my goals.  Every day I want to improve on the last.  Each day must be better than the last.  Along with that communication and passion, I have found the one person that makes every day worth more than living.

What fuels me? What makes me want to better every day? There are many little reasons such as pride, honor, personal values, etc.. But the big reason is my wife.  I have reached a point in my life where we have been together longer than apart. We are at times a well oiled machine. But there are hiccups at times.  We have developed the ability to work through any monumental problem. There may be tears, there may be some hard feelings but there is always understanding and resolution.

Passion is hard to come by.  There are times when we are in that dark place and just don't want to come out, but we do.  Why?  Passion. I come out of the dark for her.  She gives me reason.  She gives me life.  She fuels my every day. She gave me two boys, a beautiful home, and the freedom to be me.  She is the perfect interpreter, she is a rock with great curves, blond hair, and a smile that lights the room.

I push hard to prove myself every day. I teach my boys our values and the way to treat others.  But most of all I hope they find the one.  The one that fuels their passion.  The one that makes them want to be a better person.  The one that they want to get home to no matter how exciting an event they are in.  The one that you think of every moment.  I have that one. I am thankful.  I often question myself why she hangs out with me.  But I think I know the answer.  She shares my passion. 

It seems that every song the radio plays nowadays makes me think of her.  I want to be the best for her. I want to do the best for her.  I know I may slip and stutter, but I know she knows I do everything for her.  Post race depression be damned!

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