Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Grab a tissue...

So I sat down and wrote a full page on post season depression.  It was really good.  I had some scientific data and real life examples.  I think many of my readers would have found it informative and insightful.  Unfortunately I think it was just a cover and full of crap.  It is not who I am.  I think by now many of you have read my musings and hopefully found them written from the heart and sharing the values that I believe in.

That brings me to the reason why I deleted every word that I spent writing previously.  It think we all get run down in life.  In my line of work I see too many people medicated to the point that they become numb to what is a real feeling.  I will never be like that.  I will never let my family be like that.  No one has ever said that life is easy.  There are ups and downs and you must truly live life to every degree to appreciate the good times as much as the hard times.

I have found in my life that communication and passion are the two things that will keep me going day after day.  Communication is a must.  Clear, concise, and thoughtful words help make any situation an easy one to handle.  Passion must fuel you.  Every day I have my goals.  Every day I want to improve on the last.  Each day must be better than the last.  Along with that communication and passion, I have found the one person that makes every day worth more than living.

What fuels me? What makes me want to better every day? There are many little reasons such as pride, honor, personal values, etc.. But the big reason is my wife.  I have reached a point in my life where we have been together longer than apart. We are at times a well oiled machine. But there are hiccups at times.  We have developed the ability to work through any monumental problem. There may be tears, there may be some hard feelings but there is always understanding and resolution.

Passion is hard to come by.  There are times when we are in that dark place and just don't want to come out, but we do.  Why?  Passion. I come out of the dark for her.  She gives me reason.  She gives me life.  She fuels my every day. She gave me two boys, a beautiful home, and the freedom to be me.  She is the perfect interpreter, she is a rock with great curves, blond hair, and a smile that lights the room.

I push hard to prove myself every day. I teach my boys our values and the way to treat others.  But most of all I hope they find the one.  The one that fuels their passion.  The one that makes them want to be a better person.  The one that they want to get home to no matter how exciting an event they are in.  The one that you think of every moment.  I have that one. I am thankful.  I often question myself why she hangs out with me.  But I think I know the answer.  She shares my passion. 

It seems that every song the radio plays nowadays makes me think of her.  I want to be the best for her. I want to do the best for her.  I know I may slip and stutter, but I know she knows I do everything for her.  Post race depression be damned!

Monday, October 17, 2011

Been There, Done That

    This weekend I finally completed my sticker collection.  You know when you were younger it was a special day when we went to the grocery store, because we may have gotten something.  For me it was sticker books.  If my chores were done and my sisters didn't overshadow me I was rewarded with sitckers.
    Back in the day stickers were all shapes and sizes and details. We had photo albums full of them.  We even traded them.  We saved our quarters till the next time to get some of the more ellaborate stickers and kept pages open waiting for them to be placed.
    I don't remember when I stopped collecting stickers.  As a matter of fact I don't think I really ever have.  My stickers have gotten bigger and the meaning behind each of them has changed.  I drive around nowadays and see all sorts of stickers. Letters, Calvin without Hobbs, stick figures, race teams, the list could go on. 
    My collection has now become oval, white, and numerical.  I have now in my collection: 1.5, 5, 10, 13.1, 18, 51.5, 70.3, 140.6, 100, and my latest 26.2.  Now if you know what each of these numbers represent you are the type of person that may have a few of these on your vehicle.  I have come to a point in my life where I not only look at the number but the journey, sacrifice, and lessons that I took from earning each sticker.
    I have never once competed for reasons of only to earn a sticker, tattoo, or ego.  I have always approached every event as a possible life changing one.  I learn from every endeavor I undertake. Each day I learn, endure, push, and hope to survive.  And at the end of each event I take at least a day to reflect on the day and make my mental notes.  Then I hit the bath and rest.  The next day I think about what I can do next.
    Going long, short, or in between is not about achieving a sticker. It is not about the event.  It is about the album that you are compiling. 
    What is your album full of? Are your stickers ellaborate?  Do you have a favorite one? Wanna trade any? And most of all, have you filled that special spot with the one that you save all your quarters for?